Little dramas

A retro-blog by Pat the Chooks
Thursday, 6th April 2006
With the local drama festival coming up the week after Easter, the director of the one-act play I’m in decided that an extra dress rehearsal or two was called for. The plan was to start at seven o’clock, so I stayed on at work to clear my desk as much as possible before going on leave tomorrow and went straight on the to hall for the rehearsal. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned the play before, but it’s a farce involving seven women and one man, the poor old man being variously humiliated and bullied by six of these harridans before being reunited with his long-lost wife. It’s also quite funny when we remember our lines, and that was the problem tonight when we finally got going an hour late.
My character makes the last entrance and has the first line, “Excuse me, but are any of you ladies looking for a husband?”. Having listened to a cornucopia of fluffed cues and missed lines, it was rather tempting to change the words from “husband” to “lines”, but that would have been tempting fate far too far, given that I had yet to go out on stage and make a pillock of my own part. Fortunately, I didn’t, and found some new business and interpretations that had eluded me through three months of rehearsals and two previous performances. The only problem was that the door to the set, which is supposed to remain forcibly locked throughout most of the action, swung irresistibly open on its hinges, spoiling the general effect of the drama. Still, these things can be fixed and the stage crew are a resourceful lot. I can only conclude that I am a slow learner. Still, that run-through left an awful lot to be desired and we decided to go again after a short break. This gave me and one of my assailants – sorry, fellow cast members – a chance to go off to the local pub and get a much-needed restorative down our necks before the second attempt.
The second attempt went off quite a lot better, although it was half-past ten before I got away, which was later than I’d hoped considering the plan was to be up at four the following morning for the drive to Somerset.
We do have one more rehearsal, on Easter Sunday, so we’d better be back up in Argyll by then.


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